The question that amuses me. A LOT.
From not-in-touch friends to interviewees to new colleagues and just about everyone with whom I interact, this question seems a favourite amongst all. I have lost the count of people who have given me an eye popping expression when I say, yes I am married and that too for a little over two years now! I sometimes am flattered that I do not really look the ‘married types’ to them. But then again what is being a “married TYPE”?
Sometimes the context in which people ask me is really annoying. Just because I seldom wear traditional outfits does not in any way tell anything about my marital status. Why is a married woman presumed to behave in a typical manner? Why do we have to typecast a married woman in a typical mould owning to her dressing and speaking style. Why do we associate a woman being married with the managlsutra she wears, the traditional outfits she dons, her giggling subtly, speaking only when spoken to and being soft spoken?
I have none of these traits. My closet is devoid of heavy jewellery and traditional outfits, they come out only on occasions like weddings and like. I guffaw, joke and laugh loudly, I am hardly soft spoken, I speak my mind and I am more than a blabbermouth. I love parties, I am a teetotaler but not really judgmental of people who drink, it’s just that I dislike its stench! I gorge on chocolates like a glutton. I am not really a great cook and my culinary skills are best when not spoken about. I love punching my computer and generating reports. I am a social media freak. Period. All this and more, do NOT in any way depict anything about my marital status.
I am happily married for more than 2 years now. I do not see myself changing according to the societal whims and fancies, yet plan to stay married forever.
Marriage is more than just traditional outfits and a certain piece of jewellery. And until the one I am married to, does not find me weird, I am more than happy to let others think what they want to!
Life's Little Banter 
maybe people are expecting u to be like a womaniyaaaa…… :). Few years down the line i also have passed thru the same set of questions and that time i was feeling lil proud that people could not recognise my age.
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Initially I used to get flattered by this question.. But over time as I am trying to make peace with the growing up process, such presumptions get on my nerves… Nonetheless I play along just to have a look at the different reactions I encounter! 😀
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You can be yourself post marriage only with the help of your in laws and most importanly your Husband. If he is with you and supports you than no worries of others around!! You are a lucky chick but few ain’t so they have to go according to what an Indian society expects them to be and a few love to get ready properly as an married woman and wears a mangalsutra and applies a sindoor on their head 🙂
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I know Heta and the saddest part is the restrictions these societies impose in the name of culture! And if the dressing up is done as per free will, I am the last one to object! You should be allowed to do as you like and not expected to please everyone. Alas it will take eons before the mindset reforms..
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Truly said, Marriage is more than just traditional outfit or a piece of jewellery. Be Yourself..Women are free to move a head and do whatever they feel like, but in many case, they don’t have guts to do so, and they follow the society ritual.
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Following it sometimes is OK… but leading a fake life always ain’t… You tend to lose yourself…
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Oh well! The famous you don’t look married comment will only develop into a more surprised “for so many years!” and also “AND you have a baby?” I have it all the time and I love the surprise, no it doesn’t piss me off that they expect ‘married’ women to look and behave a particular way. Mostly they mean it, and I take it as a compliment.
I guess it will take a while till they accept women speaking of beer and school admission forms in the same breath because such specimen are considered rare. And if that is true, I love being that entity! So enjoy it 😉
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The famous and widely followed DI comments on my blog post! Wow!!
*after the elation settles*
I have seen some of your pics and you surely don’t look like you have delivered a baby!!! 😀 if you’re resisting chocolates hats off… And if you’re not… Tell me your exercise regime!!
And yes, I have started taking this question as more of a compliment but generalizing the “married type” does piss me off. Will take a while to get over it, methinks!!
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Good one Shweta! Interesting!
On a very different note – I wrote this post. It’s about the 10 questions that I hate being asked. Let me know what you think! http://happinessandfood.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/please-dont-ask-me/
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Sure Parul! Will come back with my comments
I am glad you liked my post! 🙂
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