Is there ever an end to this?

Picture this. A beautiful Friday morning, last day of the week and looking forward to the weekend. As I enter office and login to my computer, I am greeted with the news of a gang rape in Mumbai and that too at the peak hours of the previous evening. I wince at the news piece and can’t help feeling utterly drained. All the excitement wears off and my smile is replace with a dull and helpless frown. The happy melodies my chirpy heart was singing this morning are replaced with abuses for the predators. An array of emotions take over me which are so varied that I can’t give a name to what I am feeling. Am I feeling Angry – At being helpless? Or is it Fear – That it can happen anywhere, to anyone! Disheartened– that the laws are not strong and quick enough to curb and resolve these incidents? Ashamed – That this is what the Maximum City of Mumbai is left with it!! Confused – Is this ever going to end? 😳

When I read about Rose Chasm’s traumatic stay in India (India: the Story You Never Wanted to Hear) I was broken. The country I am so proud of and the one to which I call my home and have lived my entire life here, has been put to shame because of some gross maniacs who think of women just as an object for sexual gratification!! All my heart goes out to Rose who had to go through such trauma while staying here! I was left with no words and I am trembling even when I am jotting this down. Her image haunts me whenever I try to feel proud of my country and asks why am I fooling myself?? My lips tremble and my heart skips a beat when I read this article. I remember a distant friend commenting, India is all words and no actions. Today, I am guilty when I see myself agreeing with her! I can’t spend my life being a hypocrite. ❗

I don’t know why, but this is making me depressed and affecting me no end! I know everyone will be feeling the same with such a news, but my mind curbs into a ball and shuns itself on hearing such cases. I become numb and go blank. I don’t answer questions and I can’t work because these thoughts pre-occupy me!! I suppress an urge to scream on top of my voice and even cry!! If not rape, I am haunted by the images of the victims and their stories. And also the alarming rate at which these incidents are growing in the country. The questions scare the living shit out of me. 😯

Is there ever an end to this??

Will women ever feel safe in their own country to which they call home?

Will the predators go and f*ck themselves and stop this bloody shit?

Will the judiciary ever quick in resolving these matters?

Will these cases and crimes curb?

Will India be able to restore its dignity?

Will tourists ever feel safe in this country?

And if the answer my mind gives to the above questions is a “NO”, the country seriously is in a deep shit and so are we! 😥

– An Ashamed and Angry, an Indian Woman Citizen who does not feel safe anymore!! 😡