Disclaimer: I was thinking out loud when I wrote this. A one-off, a psychoanalytic post. Stop here if you do not want my fun loving impression on you to change. If you think it is preachy, you may actually be right.
Read the disclaimer again
OK. So you are sure you want to read this? Go ahead then….
There are times in our life when we sit and brood about life not going the way had planned it to, about not getting where we think ought to be at this point in life, about not having as much as the other person who started with us has. And mind you, this is not only the material things or luxuries I am talking about. This includes peace and success even.
I may sound old and dull, but I have so many instances when I thought I had ‘planned’ it all and there was no scope of anything going wrong. Just when you start gloating about your planning, something gives you such a cruel blow that you are back to square one! And all I am left with is a sullen face which is similar to someone badly wanting to go the loo and the toilet being miles away.
I over analyze everything. I constantly worry about things going wrong and always imagine worst case scenarios. I imagine a horrid situation even if it is way deep into the future and my chances of reaching there are remote and slim. For instance, I am petrified of death. Sometimes a thought crosses my mind how bad it would be if I did not have a ‘normal’ death. As in what if I drowned during some adventure sport or got ridden over by a truck when I am on a long drive. If this thought is insane, wait till you read the next one! Where would I find myself after death? If it works the way just like the scriptures and religious texts describe, I am surely to be poked with that sharp weapon by a devil in hell! See. That sort of madness I am talking about. The never ending paranoia.
But when I am out of my reverie, jolted to the present, I am suddenly sane enough to infuse in me the thought to take life it as it comes. Obviously neither my death nor my address thereafter is in my hands! Then why spoil my present fretting over what I am unable to decide on and about something that isn’t in my control?
I have learnt it the hard way to take life as it comes. I have noticed it has made me very content with the space I am currently in. Of course, it may not always be the same the way it is today, there will be lots of responsibilities waiting to burden me on my way, but why think about those now? Agreed I may even make mistakes, but life doesn’t really come with an instruction manual, does it?
I love my husband, my family is loving and in great health. Heck! I even love my job and the work I do. I am privileged to have access to amazing books to read and I have a mind to absorb and learn new things. Mind you, there is nothing to laugh about when I say I have a brain and the ability to think and eyes (although bespectacled vision) and legs and hands. I am thankful for each of these and more because pity washes over me when I see physical disability around. It may sound really preachy but we do tend to take things for granted. I had done a about post this. And till date, whenever I re read it, I feel grateful for all the things that I am blessed with.
PS: No, Dalai Lama’s soul has not possessed me, this is still me, the same confused person who is the owner of this blog for two years now!
PPS: Apparently, this blog turned 2 today!! Back to insanity and my not-so-perfect-but-awesome-life!! *hoots*