Sometimes when I am in mood to ponder over things… I rewind and remember every little secret I have kept and the lies that it has caused me to tell. Is the secret worth or will the truth will be far more simpler and easy to deal with?? The question keeps on haunting me. But perhaps I may never get an answer to this. Because I am never the one to spill secrets. You may call me loyal but I am more than scared to jinx the reality when something good is about to happen or I am scared of hurting the person who has shared it with me. So I am sure I will take all the secrets, that have been shared with me, to my grave. And believe me, there are LOADS. And so I will never know whether a secret kept was better or was the truth simpler.
Life is seriously a female dog (well, i did not want to curse on my blog, and this was the best I could do to translate “bitch”) 😛 . Each option you choose is accompanied by a consequence which may make you regret your choice. But then it always is that. Isn’t it?? Rather go with the decision you believe in and be prepared to get screwed with conviction.. At least the saving grace will be that you made your choice!! However bad or wrong it was.. It was, after all your choice. Standing by it is the only option!!
I have had friends who have kept things away from me, only to get those revealed by someone else from the group. That has hurt me, quite a lot. It makes me think the same thing about others getting hurt. It’s always a two way sword. Eons of times it has happened that people have misunderstood me and have got pissed so much that they have even chosen to ignore my existence. All this and more, just because of a secret kept.
Complications, mistrust, disagreements, failing relationships and so much more. All these, a byproduct of a grave secret. And hundreds of lies to cover it up. I make sure that I do not have to fall in a situation where I have to keep secrets from the ones I love. Once bitten, twice shy. Have taken a lot of confronting and guts to be in a secret less zone, have caused disagreements to, but has always been beneficial in the long run. It makes me less paranoid, less scared and more confidant. When you have nothing to hide, transparency shows in your eyes and your smile. You do not have to live with the fear of being exposed. And that’s where your heart and head both stay healthy. Life has made me learn this, the hard way.
No no, this is not a post from a saint who has no secrets at all. It’s one of my pondering and thinking out loud alternate personality! *wink wink*