Disclaimer: This post may come across as a very confusing one! Happy or sad, when emotions overcome, confused is a state of mind I am in!! 😳
It is the first time in 24 years that The Brother is not around during Rakhi. For the unawares, he has been really busy studying in SIBM, Pune and though I am happy that he is creating a path for himself and learning a way of life, he had to go study away from home.
Considering that I used to live in a joint family and the cousins are really closely knitted, I have quite a long list of brothers when it comes to tying Rakhis. There is a literal dearth of sisters in the house amongst almost a dozen of brothers, and thus, I enjoy some special privileges! 🙂 I not only tie Rakhi to cousins, but also to their children, who incidentally are all guys and have inherited the scarcity of sisters from their fathers! 😛
However, The Brother, who is the youngest one in the elder generation is the first one I tie Rakhi to, every year! He is the 1st one who used to wake me up on this day. The one who saved his pocket money to buy me a cute little gift! And he is not around this year. I know it is not even easy for him to stay away, but how will I celebrate this special day with he not being here? The charming smile, the giggles, the fights, I miss them all. I had never imagine this festival without him. How much I wish, I was there with him today! I would rather stay with him and fight for my chocolates that he sneaked from the refrigerator after completing his own, than him being away from me for 2 long years! Why is that, what is close to your heart and still, you can’t just keep everything aside and go running to it??!
When they are away, you know their true value, is a quote I can well experience it today. I yearn to listen to the jump in your voice or to hug you in a tight embrace. And when you were here, just 3 kilometers away, we would be so busy with our own lives, that I wouldn’t get a chance to meet you or to talk to you! And now, how many ever plans the family makes, you not being here does no justice to the plans. You literally are the charm of the family and I miss you so bloody much! And your charismatic smile. But I can visualize you making new friends, keenly observing the nature of others, charming everyone, flashing your dimples and spreading your love! I would be selfish if I think that you had to leave us here to go and study away from home! And I would be really holding you back if I think you have to stay there alone without all of us. If I look back, somewhere, someday, in my adolescence, even I had this fantasy of staying in a hostel and experiencing a life out there. And I should really say, your hostel is amazing. The view from your room has lush green scenes, the sun rays kissing your face, the huge auditoriums, studying in midst of nature, something you would have never got in here! If you want to study royally, I prefer nature over luxury! Amazing spacious interiors, I just had the joy of viewing you in the backdrop of the mountains in one frame!
How much ever I try to think that studying in SIBM is one of the best things ever happened to you, I can’t get over the fact that you are away! And I know and can have only an iota of imagination about how difficult it is for you. In spite of being warm, charismatic and an extrovert, the fact of being away from home, from the pampering, from moms food, from the long drives to everything. Life will never be the same again! I want these 2 years to pass in a jiffy. I want u NOT to change! I want to be pampered by you! I want to hug u so tight n never let u go again! I want you here, amongst us!
Now now, before I weep and be construed as a cry baby, I also want you to have everything u dreamt of. And for that everything, I know some of It is possible by your hard work and the other some will require only strong prayers! Waiting for you, always!
PS: I am still awaiting you with my Rakhi gift this year!! See you really soon!!! 🙂 🙂